Festive Dating
Alex Mellor-Brook, Co-founder and Dating Expert at Select Personal Introductions looks at five festive dating trends to look out for this season
Our dating decisions can be heavily influenced by the seasons and Christmas plays a big part. So, how do you spot if someone you’re dating isn’t quite on the same page as you?
Marleying and Scrooging
It sounds like a Dickensian Christmas Fayre, but it’s actually a pair of pretty prevalent behaviours: one annoying, the other downright nasty, to watch out for. The relatively benign one is Marleying - like the ghost in A Christmas Carol - it’s an old flame who reemerges during the Christmas season. No, the Marley shows up because they’re single at Christmas and they think reviving an old relationship will be easier than getting a new one going in time for the office party. Honestly, if it didn’t work out the first time, it probably won’t work out when you add Christmas to the pressure… you have been warned. Scrooging, on the other hand, is that horrible trick of dumping a partner just before Christmas so you don’t have to buy them a gift. Oddly enough, despite the British becoming quite creative in cutting Christmas costs, this doesn’t feature anywhere in the statistics. However, it’s apparently very prevalent on dating sites, so if this happens to you, it’s not you, it’s them - they’re a Scrooge, and you’re better off without them.
Snow-Globing
We’ve all felt this one; that moment when Christmas causes our hearts to melt, and suddenly we feel that we can’t help but love our current date. Sadly, the feeling lasts just as long as the festive turkey, and then we wake up to reality and realise we’ve overcommitted ourselves to somebody who isn’t right for us. Now imagine being on the other side of that experience - that’s being snow-globed.
Snow-Manning
The opposite of snow-globing happens too. Just like the cartoon character, the snow person melts as soon as Christmas is over and rather than a grown-up conversation about splitting up, you find you’ve been frozen out. Some research suggests that as many as 53% of winter flirters will end up being snow-manned. In other words, their wonderful new partner simply melts away.
Dry Dating
New as a hashtag for 2022, dry dating or sober socialising, has been around informally since the beginning of the pandemic, but it’s showing up big time on social media as a criterion for this winter’s dates and get-togethers. Why? Because since the pubs closed in lockdown, many people have seen that ‘mindful dates’ work out better and 20% of the under thirties age group has a strong interest in #drydating.
Winter Coating
Finally, winter coating - the intense pressure we all feel to get coupled up for Christmas. Everybody seems to want us to be part of a relationship as the cold weather rolls in, and so there’s a tendency to pick the person who seems most like a good match and just … settle in, like pulling on a cosy winter coat. Problem is, as the weather warms again, that coat gets cast off in favour of something more summery. So, whether you’re the coater, who’s unexpectedly craving a serious relationship, or the coatee, who’s on the receiving end of a suspiciously rapid demand for commitment, being aware of the winter coating phenomenon can save you from a spring heartache.
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