Fantastic 4
Challenging design features have made life difficult for the new BMW 4 Series, but as James Fossdyke discovered, looks can be deceptive
They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but no matter how often that old adage is trotted out, we all do it. Whether it’s this month’s reading material, a new partner or a new car, the way something looks can attract or repel with equal vigour. So much so that it can render obvious qualities or faults irrelevant.
Some of you, therefore, will have seen these pictures and immediately dismissed the new BMW 4 Series. No matter what I write, you won’t be able to see past that enormous grille or the vast expanse of metal behind the doors, so you’ll buy an Audi A5 or a Mercedes-Benz C-Class Coupe instead. And why not? They’re both very good cars. If you do go down one of those two paths, though, you’ll be missing out on something even better.
The 4 Series is, in essence, a swoopy coupe version of the 3 Series saloon made so popular by estate agents, accountants and sales reps. But while I’m happy to make cheap gags about some of the clientele, I’m adamant the 3 Series is the best executive car on the market. It’s comfy, it handles well and it’s built like the proverbial outside loo. Except it’s more luxurious. It’s absolutely brilliant, and driving one is now socially acceptable because non-indicating, lane-hogging, tailgating morons have migrated to Audis.
Anyway, back to the 4 Series. This is designed to be the 3 Series’ more stylish sister, and from the rear it absolutely delivers. The narrow lights, sloping rear window and chunky haunches just work. It’s sporty and smart all at once. It’s the same from dead side on, where there’s a rather stealthy, purposeful silhouette.
Move to the front, however, and it all gets a bit more divisive. When I first laid eyes on this car, a little piece of me died inside. The formerly graceful BMW grilles were turned into comically large nostrils. It looked like a Star Wars Tie Fighter had crashed into the front. But spending more time with it has revived me. I’m aware the oversized grille is unnecessary, but it isn’t that bad. In fact, I now think it looks quite good…
Moving swiftly on, undoubtedly followed by a hail of rocks and rotten tomatoes, I should also say I’m a big fan of the cabin, which is identical to that of the 3 Series. It’s quite Germanic in its immovable logic and functionality, and though I’d never call it pretty, it’s still unerringly classy. It has this wonderful solidity about it, too, and if you want ergonomics, there’s nothing better. This is the gold standard by which all other car interiors are judged.
There’s plenty of tech, including a really good satellite navigation system and a digital instrument display, as well as more conventional stuff like heated seats and, better still, a heated steering wheel. It sounds frivolous, but when you get in the car on a frosty morning, it’s the best in-car gadget since the heated windscreen was invented. It’s spacious, too, as long as you stay in the front seats. There’s no headroom in the back and getting in requires the sort of contortionism that would make an earthworm blush. But if you wanted room in the back, surely you’d just buy the 3 Series?
And anyway, this isn’t a car to be driven in, because it’s one of the best driver’s cars on the road. Like the 3 Series, the 4 Series serves up this glorious mix of surefootedness and poise that makes it feel hugely stable, yet incredibly agile through the bends. It rides well, too, flattening all but the very worst of the potholes with far more skill than anyone at Cheshire East Council.
As usual, you can have the 4 Series with a range of petrol and diesel engines, but like a true man of the people, I sampled the range-topping M440i model, which comes with a 3.0-litre straight-six petrol engine, four-wheel drive and 335bhp. It’s hardly supercar fast, but a 0-62mph time of around five seconds and a 155mph top speed is more than sufficient.
More importantly, this engine is silky smooth, creating barely a whisper as it wafts you along with its enormous power reserves. And if you do want to dig into those reserves, you’re rewarded with a rasping bark from the exhaust pipes, as well as a meaty shove in the back. Selflessly, I’ve also spent some time in the 2.0-litre diesel 4 Series, and that was equally stunning to drive, albeit a little slower. Nevertheless, it’s a great, great car. Surprisingly refined, too.
So, whatever you think of the 4 Series’ looks, it’s a wonderful thing to drive. The market for cars such as this is competitive, with the Audi A5 offering technology and solidity while the Mercedes-Benz C-Class is comfy and suave. I admit both are prettier than the 4 Series, but despite that, the BMW remains the best of the bunch, mixing the best of those cars’ capabilities with BMW’s road manners. It’s utterly superb. And if you don’t like the grille, you can always have the more practical (yet equally brilliant) 3 Series.
BMW M440i xDrive Coupe
Price as tested: £52,440
Gearbox: Eight-speed automatic
Engine: 3.0-litre straight-six petrol
0-62mph: 5.2 seconds
Top speed: 155mph
Power: 335bhp
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