The 12 Luxuries Of Love: How To Build Connection This Christmas
WORDS: Alex Mellor-Brook, Dating and Relationship Coach, Co-founder at Select Personal Introductions
Christmas is often painted as a festival of extravagance: diamonds, champagne, designer trees and ski breaks. Yet ask most people what they truly remember about Christmas past, and it’s rarely the Cartier watch or star-studded panto. It’s the moments: the laughter, the quiet traditions, the feeling of being loved.
Presence is the rarest luxury of all. This season, ask yourself what you can give that no one else can: your attention, your affection, your time.
Here are 12 luxuries of love that will outlast any present under the tree:
#1 - Undivided Attention
Put that phone down. Emails can wait. When you give someone your complete attention during Christmas conversations, you transform ordinary moments into treasured memories.
#2 - Shared Rituals
Whether it’s decorating the tree together, taking a Christmas Eve walk, or watching the same film every year, rituals build a sense of belonging; they weave the threads that bind relationships together.
#3- Laughter
A good belly laugh or a gentle chuckle, whichever is most natural, is a way of creating intimacy that can’t be overrated. We all love to laugh…and love those we laugh with.
#4 - Thoughtfulness
A handwritten note tucked under a pillow or slipped into a stocking can feel more valuable than any designer gift. Remembering their favourite tipple, playing their best Christmas carol - this is a luxury that can’t be purchased.
#5 - Listening
Real listening, the kind that makes the other person feel heard, is a luxury that cannot be overstated. This Christmas, practise listening not just to respond, but to understand.
#6 - Touch
A hand on the back, a brush of fingertips, an embrace that lingers a second longer than usual. Building some extra intimacy over the festive period can help bond your relationship.
#7 - Playfulness
Board games, charades, a silly jumper day. Christmas provides the perfect excuse to rediscover joy and reminds us that relationships thrive when we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
#8 - Gratitude
Say thank you, not just for the gift, but for the person. Express appreciation for who they are and what they bring to your life.
#9 - Space
Sometimes, the most loving thing is knowing when to give room. Build some quality time and space into your Christmas planning. Even in festive togetherness, everyone needs moments to breathe.
#10 - Curiosity
Ask a new question. After years together, it’s easy to assume we know everything about each other. Approach your loved ones with fresh eyes this Christmas.
#11 - Forgiveness
December is rarely stress-free. The ability to let go of the minor irritations is a quiet but priceless luxury. Choose grace over grudges, creating space for connection to flourish.
#12 - Hope
As the year closes, talk about what comes next. Share dreams, make gentle plans, and express optimism about your shared future. When you share hope with someone, you’re saying, “I believe in us”.
Christmas can smother us in glitter and distraction, but the truth is simple - luxury isn’t what’s under the tree, it’s who sits beside it. If you give the 12 luxuries of love this year, you won’t just have a season to remember, you’ll have a foundation for all the seasons that follow.
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